Friday, April 24, 2009

My Colt 45 Moments

A series of TV Commercials currently running in the airwaves sure gained my attention. The Ad shows 4 men drinking their favorite beer (Colt 45 I suppose, hehe). If any of the men behaves or acts “unmanly” or against the stereotype Machismo, he gets splattered by a giant bottle of Colt 45. I’m no Jock, just an average Joe like the most of us, but here are my own contributions to those men who must be splattered….by the giant bottle.

Men who put lemon slices in their beers – they might as well order a nice cold, sweet lemonade. Include those men that order alcopops.

Men who make the “gumuguhit” expression while drinking San Mig Light – C’mon now, with San Mig Light? I can’t fault them if it's already their habbit, even when drinking plain water.

The guy that invites his pals for a night of drinking, but after only a bottle of beer, suddenly tells his buddies that he has to leave because of an urgent text from "someone". Be sure to buy them 6 rounds of beer and a pulutan before you leave, lest you want a big whomp on your face.

Men should limit, if not refrain from saying “Promise!” (with the right hand raised), "HELLO" after stressing a point, "As in" and “Thank you Thank you!”. Makes me want to order yakisoba and tempura. One thank you is enough.

If your speaking to another guy on the phone, don’t say “Bye-bye” to end the conversation. Sounds like you're saying Good Bye to your mother. “Sige” will do, better yet, just hang up. Guys will understand.

Men should never be too much of a sleek dresser. People will know you spend a great deal of your time reading fashion magazines. Wearing your clothes with a degree of sloppiness is permissible.

This I really hate. Shirts with collars raised. I can understand if you're trying to shade your nape from the harmful effects of UV. Please don't pretend to be an Eastern European Count from the Middle Ages.

Men who hum, lipsync, or sing while a love song or power ballad is being played in the presence of others. Worse is if they know the whole lyrics to the song. Though singing in the showers may be allowed.
Men who bob their heads to any Justin Timberlake song.
In a Bar, those who force themselves to sing in the "Audience Participation" segment of the performing band just to impress their dates or be a show off to their inebriated pals. Please, save us the agony, unless you're an "IDOL" caliber. I for one don't want to be paying for that expensive beer just to hear them sing. In other countries, they are pelted with bottles to try that kind of stunt.
Those who get into syncronized dancing.

Men who customize their Facebook and Friendster pages. Just use the default settings.

Men should only comb their hair not more that 3 times a day; before going to work, during lunch break, and before going home. If one can’t resist the urge to fix his hair constantly, at least don’t keep the comb in your pant’s back pocket, where it will be visible to others. We are not in the 1950’s.

Men should never be caught watching a Judy Ann Santos or Kris Aquino Movie, unless forced by their girlfriends or wives. Men should also learn the art of sleeping with their eyes open. Lest they want to get the cold shoulder.

No stuffed toys (Garfield, Hello Kitty, Songebob, and the likes) should be seen in men’s cars. Bobble heads of your favorite NBA Player or WWE Wrestler are preferred

Men who allow another person to cut his finger and toe nails. Worse is when a shade of pink is still visible in that man’s nails.

No matter how oily a man’s face gets, he should never put powder on his face. You will end up looking like an espasol.
Men who become very vocal about their choices on who should sing the national anthem at Manny Pacquiao's bouts.

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